Trapped on an Island
by ROSSELLA1
Summary: Aaron wakes up to find himself trapped on an island by a mysterious criminal organization called the fangirls. Now, he must work with his worst enemy in order to survive and gain his revenge.
1. Chapter 1

Ch1

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. Not meant to be taken seriously. Not sure how long I'm going to make this. Might be a oneshot but as of now it's now I don't think it will be.

"Ugh…!" Foyet rubbed his head. "What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me." A voice came from his left.

He looked up to see Aaron Hotchner, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts, sitting on the sand a couple of yards from him. Foyet noticed that he was dressed the same."YOU!" Foyet hissed, sitting up. "Where the fuck did you bring me?"

"Hey!" The man said. "I had nothing to do with this! I just woke up about a half hour ago on this island, half naked with no memory of how I got here. I started walking and I found you," He spat the last word, "of all people."

Foyet narrowed his eyes, suspiciously, but the man seemed to be telling the truth. "Okay. So how do we get off this place?"

Hotchner shrugged. "If I knew I wouldn't be here, would I?" There was a moment of silence. "So what's the last thing you remember?"

"Why should I tell you?" Foyet scoffed, turning away.

Hotchner sighed, "Look, I walked all around this island and didn't see anyone but you. I think it's safe to say that we're the only one's here. Now we can go our separate ways and wait here until something happens or we could work together and try and figure out how we got here and how to get off. Your choice."

Foyet rolled his eyes. "Chick." He had to admit the guy had a point, though. "Alright. So what's the last thing you remember?"

"What do you remember?" Hotchner asked.

"No, you go first."

"Fine." The man sighed. "I was at my office and there was a knock on the door. I went to open it and there were two girls… I don't remember anything else."

"Hold on!" Foyet got to his feet, Hotchner doing the same. "How old were these girls?"

"I don't know, mid to late teens maybe… why?"

"Oh, I know what's going on!" Foyet started pacing. "It's the fangirls!"

"The what?" Hotchner spat.

"Look, starting a couple of weeks ago, these groups of girls started showing up at my door. They knew who I was but nothing I did scared them. I even killed one or two but they just wanted to sleep with me, my autograph, my life story…" Foyet shuddered. "It was horrible. I tried moving but it didn't matter. Overtime it got worse."

"Worse?" Aaron asked, dreading the answer.

"They started wanting more. They kept egging me on to go after you again. I was planning to anyway but what they wanted…" Foyet shook his head. "Even I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"What did they want you to do to me?" Aaron asked, reluctantly.

"They showed me these stories they wrote. In some I only kidnapped and tortured you, but in others I kidnapped your kid, held your family hostage, raped you, stabbed you and had sex with the wounds… they were awful!"

"I can imagine." Aaron put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "But are you sure it's them? I mean how can we be sure?"

"I'm hounded by them, then two show up at your office and next thing we know we're trapped on a deserted island! Who else could it be?"

"Right, right." Aaron gave a brief shake of his head. "Of course. But how do we stop them?"

"I don't know, Agent Hotchner." George shook his head sadly. "But I think we should declare a truce until we find them and kill them. Then we can go back to trying to kill each other. Agreed?"

"Agreed." They shook hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch2

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. Oh and I'm not a profiler so I'm just giving the things Hotch says my best shot. If anyone reading this is a real profiler and thinks I'm completely off, any input is welcome but this is just for fun.

"Okay, I think the first thing we should do is to walk around the outside of the island and see if we see anyone or any ships." Foyet planned. "Then, if we don't we can work our way inwards."

"Lead the way." Aaron agreed, motioning for the other man to start. He wanted to keep Foyet in sight as often as possible

George smirked. "Thought you weren't afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you." Aaron replied. "I'm not stupid either." They may have declared a truce but Hotch still didn't trust the guy; he had no doubt that the moment it was more convenient for Foyet to have Aaron dead than alive, he'd turn on him.

The man chuckled. "Well, neither am I. We can walk together." After a moment's hesitation, nodded. It wasn't what he'd prefer but it was probably the best deal he'd get.

It took them about an hour to get back to where they started and they still hadn't turned up anything but sand and the stretch of the ocean. "Nothing's different;" Aaron said "It all looks the same as earlier."

Foyet nodded. "Okay, so let's head in." The two walked together towards the jungle.

They had scarcely been walking for more than a mile when they came across a wooden structure that seemed like it was supposed to resemble a cottage.

"Hello?" Aaron called out.

"HEY, ANYONE HERE?" Foyet shouted, practically in Hotch's ear.

Aaron winced. "If anyone is here I doubt they'd appreciate that."

Foyet shrugged. "If anyone's here they're probably in on it too; no need to make their day pleasant."

Shaking his head, Aaron approached the structure and noticed an opening. "Hello?" He said again, peering in. It appeared to be deserted. "I don't think anyone's here." He entered it and saw that inside was a tiny living space with two army cots, a table, and a cupboard. He went to check in the cupboard but Foyet stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, look. There's a note." He picked up a sheet of paper from the table. " 'To the Sexiest Men Alive,' " He started to read with. " 'We-' "

"It doesn't say that!" Aaron snorted, grabbing the paper from the other man's hand. "Oh… sorry." He said, handing it back.

Foyet smirked as Aaron blushed. "How do you expect me to improve when you always assume the worst?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Just read the note."

" 'To the Sexiest Men Alive:

We are sorry we can't join you but you we don't think that would be wise. We will however contact you with our requests tomorrow. In the meantime, there is food and water in the cupboard. Please accept our hospitality.  
Sincerely,

The Fangirls

Well!" Foyet scoffed. "Guess I was right."

Hotch went over to the cupboard and looked inside. "Well, there is food."

"Probably poisoned. You try some first."

Aaron shook his head. "Maybe not. It's hard to tell, seeing as it's fairly easy to lie in a note, but if they really want something for us, chances are they'd want to keep us alive. Also if they wanted to kill us right away they could have done it with considerably less trouble. Still, I don't think we should stay here."

"Yeah, no duh!" Foyet snorted. "What else can you tell from it?"

"Let me see it." Aaron took the paper. "Well, it's typed. Normally I'd say that was so they could keep their identities a secret but it's not like we can find that out here so either they're trying to impress or obsessively neat. From the tone I'd guess they're trying to impress."

"Anything else?"

"Nothing besides the obvious. They put us here for some reason and I'm not sure I want to find out what that is. I think we should leave. The longer we're here the greater chance we have of them coming back."

Foyet nodded towards the cupboard. "Any weapons in there?"

Aaron glanced again, looking deeper than just the front parts. "Yeah." He said pulling out a knife. "Just one." He quickly slipped it into the fabric of his boxers. The fact that there was just one disturbed him.

"Hey!" Foyet cried, lunging for it. "That's mine!"

"And now it's mine." Hotch shoved him away.

"I thought we were supposed to be working together?" Foyet exclaimed.

"Doesn't mean I have to trust you." Aaron retorted. "You're lucky to look for more." He stepped aside and Foyet dived to the cupboard, throwing food items out of the way in his search.

"Hah!" He cried in triumph, pulling out a silver object, then frowning as he saw it was just a butter knife. "Trade you?" He tried. Aaron shook his head. Foyet seemed to consider trying to take his knife back by force but appeared to reconsider it. Tossing the knife aside, he stood up. "Fine." He huffed. "Let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

Ch3

By ROSSELLA1

Betad by kisaitaluvr

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. Yes, they are both out of character in some aspects and I might not be accurate as far as the whole profiling thing goes but it's a parody so I don't care.

"So." Aaron said after they had been walking for awhile.

"So." Foyet mocked.

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" Foyet laughed. "You'll have to be a bit more specific than that.

Aaron shook his head in disgust. "Why did you become a serial killer?" He asked turning to face the man.

"Why do you people always need to know why?" Foyet challenged.

"So we can understand you; prevent future murders."

"You'll never eliminate serial killers." Foyet smirked

"No, but we can make it easier to predict and therefore lessen the crime rate." Hotch pointed out. There was a pause. "So?"

"No, we are not having this conversation!" George moaned.

"We have an infinite amount of time, we might as well talk. Or we could just keep walking in silence hoping something will happen. It's up to you."

"Fine." Foyet sighed, then grinned. "But you need to tell me something in return."

Hotch thought about it, then nodded. "Fair enough. But you go first." It wasn't like it mattered much now. They were in the middle of nowhere with no immediate chance of rescue; they might as well be honest.

Foyet smiled and gave a snort of victory. "Okay. I. Don't. Know. Maybe because I felt like it?"

Hotch shook his head. "If you thought about it long enough you'd know and I know you've thought about it at least once."

"You don't know what I think about!"Foyet snapped. Then after a moment's pause, "Here's an idea. Why don't you tell me why you think I started killing and I'll tell you whether I think you're right?"

"Okay." Hotch agreed. "Your birth parents were Henry and Martha Johnson. They died in a car accident when you were nine and you were adopted by the Foyets."

"I know." Foyet interrupted but Hotch kept on going.

"However, Henry beat you didn't he?" He glanced at Foyet for confirmation but the man just looked back so he went on. "Martha tried to protect you but then he just beat her so eventually she stopped bothering and you hated her even more than you hated your father. This went on until finally all you could feel was anger and helplessness and you couldn't take it anymore. Then when you were nine you found a way to kill them and make it look like a car accident. After they died you were adopted by the Foyets."

It was getting dark now and they still hadn't come across anything too interesting. They walked off into a small clearing by the side of the trail. "This looks as good as any other spot." Foyet commented and they sat down.

"They treated you alright but it didn't matter." Hotch resumed. "You enjoyed getting what they could give you but you didn't feel anything for them directly and even though you weren't being abused anymore, the feelings of anger didn't stop and now you were far from helpless. You tried killing again and you found out that you were good at it, that it got you off or at the very least it was exciting. But the power you had over your victims wasn't enough and it got less satisfying each time, so you made the deal with Shaunessy because he was someone in charge and to have him under your thumb was unbelievable. Then when he died you killed just enough to start up the investigation again and tried to aim higher. After all, what bigger thrill than getting the FBI to surrender? But I said no and that made you angry so you had to go to the public for recognition." Aaron finished.

"Not bad." Foyet replied.

"And?"

"You could be right. Sounds believable to me."

"That's because it's the truth." Aaron countered.

"Okay." Foyet shrugged. "So now it's your turn."

"No." Aaron said quickly.

"But you said-"

"I said I'd tell you something about myself if you told me why you started killing and you had me tell you. I'm not telling you anything until you tell me something."

"Don't you think that's a bit childish?" George scoffed. Aaron just stared at him. "Fine." He grumbled, "What do you want to know?"

"How did you kill your parents?" Hotch asked, and then before Foyet could answer, "And I know it wasn't a car accident so don't bother with that."

Foyet smirked. Clearly he had been wanting to tell someone this for a longtime. "We were driving home from Christmas at my grandparents' house and I had gotten a metal bat. My father was drunk (as usual) and I wasn't exactly looking forward to getting home. So I was looking at the bat and thinking and then I had an idea. I didn't plan it or anything, I just thought of it then. I had my father pull over and I got out, waited a bit and then ran back, pounded on his door and when he opened it I hit him with the bat until he was dead, then did the same to my mother." At this point Hotch's expression changed from sympathy to disgust. "What? It's not like she ever did anything for me!" It looked like Aaron was about to say something then, shaking his head, he thought better of it. "Okay, so when they were both dead, I drove the car into a nearby tree, banged myself up a bit, got back in the car, and waited. Eventually someone drove by and called an ambulance. It was all uphill from there." Foyet smiled faintly at some hidden memory. "Okay, now it's your turn."

"What do you want to know?" Aaron said with a grimace.

"Why did you become an FBI agent?" Foyet asked.

Aaron had opened his mouth to answer, when there was a noise like someone traipsing through the bushes and they both leapt to their feet.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch4

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. Oh, and for the fangirls' names I'm just making them up off the top of my head. If they happen to be those of real fan people's, that's a coincidence.

Aaron motioned for Foyet to be quiet. The man rolled his eyes but obeyed and the noises got closer.

"I think they went this way!" Came a high-pitched squeal.

"Are you sure?" Came another, more doubtful voice. "Maybe they went back to the shore."

"No, Jane452!" A third snapped. "That wouldn't make sense. They already walked around the outer part of the island!"

Foyet and Hotch exchanged glances. So the girls had been watching them! The footsteps got closer and Foyet waved Hotch over to him. Careful, not to step on any twigs or leaves, Aaron did so. "What?" He whispered.

"Give me the knife!" The man hissed back.

"What? No!" Hotch exclaimed as quietly as possible.

"Come on!" Foyet insisted. "I know anatomy better than you; all the right places to stab. When they come into the clearing, I'll kill them and we can find out why we're here."

"How are we supposed to do that if they're dead?" Aaron whispered back.

"Fine, then I'll injure them just enough so that they can't fight back and then get information out of them. Now give me the knife!" Foyet held his hand out.

"No!" Aaron hissed, "They're teenagers!"

"So?" Foyet scoffed. "They knocked us out, kidnapped us, stripped us, and put us on this fuckin' island! Who knows what else they did or are planning to do?"

Aaron hesitated. Foyet had a point. "But-"

"Hey!" The first girl's voice lowered into a stage whisper. "I think I heard something.

"Then be quiet, Foyetgurl!" Jane452's voice came. George and Aaron exchanged horrified glances at the name.

"Both of you be quiet!" Came the third girl's voice, which by their continued conversation was identified as JenHotchner. "We need to listen."

There were a few unintelligible whispers and then thankfully the footsteps went off in the opposite direction from them. Aaron breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, I think we should move; try and find a place with bushes or something we can go in. Then-"

"HA! I GOT THEM!" A Jane 452, crazed looking brunette with wide violet eyes jumped out of the bushes, latching onto Foyet's arm. "OVER HERE! I-AHHH!"

She was cut off by Aaron drawing the knife and slashing her hand, forcing her to let go. There were sounds of the other two drawing closer but Hotch and George didn't stay to find out what they looked like. Without so much as a backward glance, they took off, running deeper into the forest.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch5

By ROSSELLA1

Betad by kisaitaluvr

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

They ran for what felt like forever but in reality was probably only fifteen minutes, until finally they came to a cave, and darting inside, they collapsed on the ground, panting.

"I- thi-think, we lo-lost 'em." Hotch got out.

"N-no, d-u-u-uh!" Foyet gasped back. "Th-thanks for th-th-at." Aaron nodded. "But y-ou-ou shoulda' jus' killed'er."

Aaron rolled his eyes but decided to get his breath back before replying. After a minute he swallowed. "I told you, I don't want to kill a teenager."

"Their psychotic!" Foyet exclaimed, looking at Aaron.

"Some people would say the same about you!"

"I'm not psychotic!" Foyet said, in an offended tone. "I'm psychopathic!"

Aaron shook his head. "I said some people. And anyway, you're not a teenager."

George sighed. "Doesn't make a difference…" He muttered.

Hotch was about to argue, but thought it better to just let it go. It wasn't like either one of them was going to change the other's mind. "So, I think we should keep moving. I mean if we stay in one place it'll be easier for them to find us."

"Really?" George asked sarcastically.

"You know, this would be a lot easier for both of us if you at least pretended not to hate me?"

"Aww, did I hurt your feelings?" Foyet mocked. Aaron rolled his eyes. "Besides, I don't hate you; you're too much fun to play with to hate."

"I'm not a toy!" Aaron snapped.

"Of course not!" George laughed. "You're a real boy!"

Aaron shook his head, giving up. "Well, if that's the way you want to be… but we're going to have to work together and that's going to be hard if we're constantly fighting."

Foyet sighed. "Make a deal with you: you stop trying to have heart- to- hearts, I'll _try_ to tone it down a bit."

Hotch returned the sigh. "Okay." He got to his feet. "We should get going."

George nodded. "Agreed. Now, help me up!" He held his hand up to Aaron, expectantly.

For a moment Hotch just looked at his enemy in disbelief; Then, ignoring the hand, he turned and went off into the forest.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch6

Ch6

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. I also don't own any of the movies mentioned.

There was a rustling sound behind Hotch, as Foyet got to his feet and dashed after his adversary. "Hey!" George whined. "What's the deal?" Hotch ignored him. "You're the one that was just talking about how we need to work together and should pretend to like each other!"

"And you're the one that just compared me to a doll!" Hotch growled.

"Dolls can be cool!" George complained. "Have you ever seen Toy Story? Or Pinocchio's Revenge?" Hotch kept walking. "Come on! If you automatically assume everything I say is an insult then this isn't going to work out!" Still nothing. "You do want this to work out, don't you, Aaron?" Foyet's voice took on a seemingly concerned tone. "I mean after your last relationship I'd have thought-"

Aaron couldn't take it anymore. Wheeling around to face the man, he hauled his arm back and slammed his fist into Foyet's face.

20 minutes later…..

"Mmm…" Foyet groaned as he stirred awake to a pounding head. He tried to sit up but that only made it hurt more. Growling, he looked around for Hotchner and was surprised to see himself in a cave. George wondered whether Hotchner had left him behind and if he was now in the clutches of the fangirls. But he wasn't tied down and if he was being held captive he doubted that those bitches would have left him free to move around. Sucking in a deep breath, he forced himself to get to his feet.

He had to lean against the wall to steady himself as the pain swept over him again, this time hurting in more places than his head. Damn! If Hotchner could punch someone this hard. Foyet would have to actually be nice to the man!

George walked a few paces into the cave and rounding a bend found Aaron sitting in front of a nice warm fire, surrounded by bananas. "You hit me!" Foyet accused.

"You were being an ass." Hotch replied calmly. "If you want some food, I found some fruit. I will allow you to have some."

Foyet contemplated attacking the man, but he was hungry and Hotchner still had the knife. Cursing he plopped down on the other side of the fire, far away from his reluctant ally. Grabbing a bunch of bananas, he peeled one and shoved it in his mouth before doing the same to the next. "Gif oo un thin'." Foyet said, before swallowing. "You can sure pack a punch! My whole body hurts!" He started on another banana. Damn, he was hungry!

Hotchner rolled his eyes. "Well I had to drag you here." He explained. "I doubt that helps."

"uldn' oo 'arry 'e?" Foyet growled, food particles spraying from his mouth.

Aaron winced in disgust. "I didn't feel like it. I thought about just leaving you there but I'm too nice for that."

Foyet scoffed and swallowed. "Couldn't you find any meat?" He stuffed another banana in his mouth. "'is is 'othin!"

Hotchner shook his head. "There's a lake farther back in the cave. I saw some fish there. Since I picked the fruit you can catch the fish."

Foyet thought about arguing but decided against it. Hotchner clearly wasn't in a good mood and he didn't want to push his luck. "Can I at least have the knife?"

For a moment Hotchner seemed to be considering it. "There are some stalactites back there. They should work fine." With a snarl, Foyet stormed towards the back of the cave.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch7

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

Foyet did eventually catch some fish, which he reluctantly shared with Aaron while they discussed what they had to do next. "We can't hide here forever, Agent Hotchner." Foyet drawled. "So what's the big plan?"  
"Why do I have to come up with one?" Aaron challenged.

"Because it's your fault these bitches are after us." Foyet scoffed.

"Me?" Aaron's eyes widened. "How's this my fault?"  
"If you had just taken the deal they wouldn't have known who I was and none of this would have happened." Foyet explained as if it was obvious.

"And if you hadn't started killing in the first place there would have been no deal so I wouldn't have had to turn it down and then we wouldn't have found out anything about you which would mean they wouldn't have and we wouldn't be here, either." Hotch pointed out.

Foyet mulled this over for a moment. "Stop trying to change the subject."

Hotch shook his head. "So, we can't stay here forever but-"  
"I already said that." George interrupted.

"But," Aaron continued, glaring at the man, "We can still use this as a base; some place to come back to if we absolutely need to. I think we should find a bunch of fruits and nuts and store them here. Then we can start walking. I'm thinking that we should walk in curves so that they won't know which direction we're head in."

Foyet nodded his approval. "Okay, we'll stay here for the night and then in the morning you can wake up early and get the food."

"We'll both get the food." Hotch snapped.

"Lazy, little, ungrateful…" George muttered a string of insults but didn't argue. They finished eating and afterwards relaxed until it was night time. The next day they both got up early, stocked the cave, and left.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch8

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

"Well, Agent Hotchner," Foyet sneered, "We've been walking for an hour and I still don't see anything but trees."

"I know that." Hotch snapped. "That's what I see, too."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"  
"Aren't you going to apologize?" Foyet exclaimed turning to face Hotch.

"Why should I apologize?" Hotch snapped. "What did I do?"  
"You came up with a crappy plan!" Foyet pointed out.

"AT LEAST I CAME UP WITH A PLAN! I'M THE ONE DOING ALL THE WORK!" Hotch shouted, causing Foyet to take a step back, his eyes widening in surprise. " IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF JUST BITCHING?"

Foyet blinked. " Was it something I said?"

Hotch snarled. " Look, your lucky it's more beneficial to keep you around or else you wouldn't be here at all. I'm the one with the knife so if you don't have anything helpful to contribute, I suggest you shut up!" Hotch waited a moment to see if Foyet would reply; as the man only stared back at him, Aaron turned and kept walking. He hadn't gone more than a few steps when there was a loud war cry and within seconds he was surrounded by teenage girls and young women. He turned to look at Foyet and saw that his frenemy was also surrounded.

...

They were brought to a small cabin that seemed to be made of driftwood, that was located outside a house that looked like it had been picked up from some suburb and plopped down on the island. The door to the cabin was slammed shut and there was the sound of a padlock being placed over the handle.

Immediately the two rose to their feet and felt their way around the cabin. It soon became apparent that there was only one door and that was not only locked, but guarded if the shadows of boots coming through the cracks under the door.

"HEY!" Foyet shouted, pounding on the door. "LET ME OUT!"

Hotch pulled him back. "They're not going to do it, just relax. We can get out but we need to wait until they've let their guard down." He whispered in the other man's ear.

George jerked away from Hotch but sat down against the back wall. "This." He growled. "Is. All. Your. Fault!"


	9. Chapter 9

Ch9

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

It took what seemed like an hour for Foyet to get up from his place in the corner and resit by Aaron. "Does this mean you're talking to me now?" Hotch asked. Foyet grunted. "Good. Now, we should probably wait to find out what they want before-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Foyet tsked. "I'll do the planning from now on!"

Aaron sighed, "Fine. Have it your way."

Foyet grinned. "Never try to argue with the Boston Reaper. Now, we should probably wait to find out what they want before we escape." Aaron snorted. "Something funny?" George asked in an offended tone.

"Nope."

"Good. So then we should wait until it's night or whenever there aren't as many guards. These walls are made of driftwood. We could easily break them down now. But if we don't know what they want then it's going to be hard to get off this damn island."

"That was what I was going to say."

"Right." Foyet snorted. "Now, I-"

There was creaking sound as the door opened and both Hotch and George tensed up as a dark figure filled the doorway. "Agent Hotchner? George Foyet?" An ominous voice asked.

"Obviously!" Foyet snapped, jumping up. Hotch quietly rose to his feet. "Now, unless you-"

"OMG!" The voice exclaimed. "You're even hotter up close!"

Foyet blinked. "What the-"

"HEY, GUYS! YOU'VE GOT TO COME CHECK THIS OUT!"

There was the sound of many feet trampling the dirt and moments later Hotch found himself and Foyet being hustled out of the cabin. Now that they were out from under the shade of trees, Hotch could see that they were not teenagers after all, but college aged women. 'Probably on Spring Break!' He thought. "Hey!" He cried out as he felt a hand touch his ass. He aimed a kick into the direction he thought the hand was coming from and was rewarded with a cry of pain. From what he could hear, it sounded like Foyet was going through a similar ordeal.

"OMG HE'S SO DAMN HOT!" Another hand grabbed his bicep.

With a growl, Aaron drew his knife and slashed at the groping hands. "GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

"DIDDO!" Foyet shouted, moving closer to Hotch. The girls gasped and drew back a step.

"NOW TELL US WHAT YOU WANT OR LET US GO!" Hotch ordered.

"Listen to that tone of authority!" The original voice cried. "Will you marry me?"

"NO! He's marrying me!" Another voice screamed and the women swarmed back around them, moving them towards the house all the while.

In the ensuing struggle the knife was knocked from Hotch's hand. "Nice going, Captain America." George growled in his ear. "Now we don't even have a…AI!"

Slowly, they were muscled inside the house and down the stairs into what looked like a skating rink. The women quickly hopped over the ledges and onto folding metal chairs on the outside. Foyet and Hotch turned to go back out the exit, only to see their way blocked by two women holding machine guns.

"There's no escape!" A deep voice said from behind them.

"No duh!" Foyet snapped, whirling around. "Now open the fucking door and let us go!"

Sighing, Hotch turned and, surprise, surprise, saw a woman seated on top of a stack of cardboard boxes. "At least tell us what you want!" He worked to keep his voice reasonably even.

"We want you to fight to the death!" The woman rolled her eyes.

"And have sex!" Another woman squealed.

"And then marry us!" Another cried.

"In that order." The apparent leader added. There was a series of cheers around the room.

Hotch met Foyet's eyes and knew that they were in agreement; these people were fucking crazy.


End file.
